Notes for 05/15/25
You’re Not The Man I Married—You’re Significantly More Attractive And Loving
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Pet peeve - There are so many things to be upset about that are going on in our world today with international news in our internet feeds 24/7/365 that this pet peeve seems trivial. But at age 79 I have limited time and attention on this earth to give to things, and I have decided to be more conscious of focusing on things that matter.
One of things I have noticed is that people just post links on listservs, in emails, and on social media with no explanation. Sometimes they say things like “interesting article” or “FYI.” In the past I have opened the link out of curiosity only to be disappointed that it is nothing I am interested in, or even if I am, why the person is recommending it? What is their intention? What is important enough about the material being linked to that they think it is something that I ought to give my limited and increasingly precious attention to? If the sender doesn’t care enough to take the time and energy to explain why they are recommending the material they are supplying the link to, I don’t care enough to click on it and give it my attention. (David G. Markham on davidgmarkham.substack.com on 05/15/25)
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Over 60 audit courses at SUNY for free - This Spring semester, 2025, I audited two courses at SUNY Brockport: Aging In America, and Gerontology: Health Promotion and Aging in America. The Aging In America was face to face and the Gerontology: Health Promotion and Aging In America was asynchronous. I enjoyed the face to face Aging In America Course very much and the other asynchronous course not so much.
Here is part of an email I sent to the professor in the Aging In America course: One of the things I enjoyed so much about your class was the multimedia and multiple pedagogical methods you utilized in communicating the material in your syllabus to facilitate the learning objectives.
Last night I came upon this 5 minute video from Everybody Loves Raymond about the sex life of his parents. I wondered if this video would be something helpful in that topic in your course?
Thanks so much for allowing me to audit your course and for all the work you put into making the intergenerational learning experience such a satisfying one at SUNY Brockport.
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MAID - Medical Assistance In Dying We’ve been following proposed legislation in New York that would authorize physician-assisted suicide in that state. The bill passed the New York Assembly 81-67 on April 29th, but the bill has not yet been passed by the New York Senate. While it has 25 sponsors in the Senate, 32 votes are needed for passage. The Senate Majority Leader has not committed to bringing the bill to a floor vote, and the position of the New York governor is unclear. The New York legislature typically adjourns in early June. Meanwhile, there has been much public debate for and against the measure, especially from disability rights activists. (Aging With Dignity, 05/15/25)
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Unburdening of shameful secrets - Why, after so many years, do people tell me their secrets? I don’t think it’s for forgiveness. I’m not a priest, rabbi, or pastor. I can’t offer some sort of sacramental absolution or formal forgiveness on behalf of God. No, when someone shares a shameful secret with me, it doesn’t feel like confession. It feels like an unburdening.
On Living by Kerry Egan
One of the things I have noticed over the years is the shameful secrets that I come to learn about as a Psychiatric Social Worker. After 56 years in the trade, there isn't much that surprises me any more. And then just when I think I've heard it all, somebody shares with me something I haven't heard before, or at least not in the same way, in the same context.
Edwin Friedman taught that the most therapeutic factor in a good psychotherapeutic outcome is the therapist's non anxious presence. With experience comes wisdom and with wisdom comes lower and lower levels of anxiety.
If I was looking for a therapist for myself or someone else I would be looking for someone with wisdom. Can wisdom be measured? Is it something you sense and learn about a person? I have learned that wisdom has nothing to do with age. I have met young people who are "old souls." They have wisdom beyond their years and I have met elderly people who seem obtuse and impervious.
Unburdening in the presence of wisdom is a precious experience the value of which is without monetary designation. I call it "grace". Can you use that word in a sentence? (David G. Markham posting on Clinicians' Exchange on 05/15/25)